i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
