I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you never un-have a 4some
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
