I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
