were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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