i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
