i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
