we're chasing vodka with high fives
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
