If that was your dad, he is hot
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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