Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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