my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
