...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
