I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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