All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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