I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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