i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
