A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
