At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
