puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
