Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No subtext here. People are naked.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize