She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
