Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
