I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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