Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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