please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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