i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
