WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
