No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
