All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
