Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
