what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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