i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
