Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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