it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
