Banned from zoo.
Again?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
