I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Text me some of your sweat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
