I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
