i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
