...so i touched it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
