how can u be prego again
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
