Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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