Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize