So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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