wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
