thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
how does that bad decision feel?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
