We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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