I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize