____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
