You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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