could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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