thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just cropdusted the office
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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