i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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