the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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