I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
