He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
