is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize