I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
