If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
