I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
