At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
