Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
