I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
