YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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